we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
