woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
