So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
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I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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