No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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