at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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