he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
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I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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