i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
