feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
