Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
