his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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