question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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