she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
