My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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