I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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