i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
