Sry I called you an 8
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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