There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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