If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
then he tried to convert me to islam
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
