but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
