Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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