I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
