Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
