Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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