sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
