Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
