i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
