mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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