i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
