his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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