Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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