Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize