I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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