I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?