my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.