My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
im calling her cock vulture from now on
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS