my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize