She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy