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So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
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