chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.