I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Randomize
