I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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