did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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