maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
