So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
