My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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