You just made me feel so damn special
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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