Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
