As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
