Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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