Please, let me fuck your mom
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i out mim tonsoeep
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