i think my tv is drunk
one two three fourrrrnication!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.