i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.