lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office