The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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