I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
