If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize