these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize