Jerry, you need to find god
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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