we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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