Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
