What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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