i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
