Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
