this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
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I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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