She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
