she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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